-
Soliloquy
“Hello? It’s me… I’m sorry, I know, I know, it’s 2 AM. You must be wondering why I called. I know it seems sudden; I just needed someone to talk to… I—
“I know you have work in the morning. This won’t take too long—no, I promise. It just couldn’t wait…
“N-No, I’m not home, actually… I’m in Cubao. Do you remember that place we used to go to? By the studio? Yeah, they’ve renovated! It looks much bigger now, and—
“No, that’s not why I called… I guess… I just wanted to hear your voice. I haven’t heard from you in a while.
“Yeah, I know we spoke just a few days ago, but, you know, I miss talking to you all the time and catching up. How are you? How’s work?
“B-But you always have time to talk! Is it that bitch again? Is she telling you to hang up?! The nerve of that girl!
“No, I know she’s your wife! She needs to fucking mind her own business! Cheap skank—
“Oh, wow, don’t tell me not to raise my voice! Put her on! I wanna speak to that bitch and—
“PUT HER ON. You know, I don’t even understand why you had to move in the first place, ‘cause, you know, that old place in Marikina was perfectly fine! Can’t you see that she’s just using you?! MY GOD, JUST PUT HER ON.
“NO. DON’T YOU DARE HANG UP ON ME. DON’T YOU DARE—
“Hello?… I’m sorry, please don’t be upset. You know I didn’t mean to yell at you. It’s just that… I really don’t understand why you had to do this. I mean, we’re okay with just being friends, right? You didn’t have to move… It’s that bitch! My god, the nerve of that girl! She should’ve learned by now not to mess with me! God, when I get my hands on her, I’ll—
“The machine cut me off. I’m sorry, really. Ugh. I… Look, I’m really sorry, okay? I just miss you so much. I’ve had a few beers, so… I know, I know you want me to stop drinking—
“Hi, yeah, Uh, I’m still in Cubao.
“You will? That’s great! Okay, I’ll wait for you by the fountain. See you in a bit! I love you!”
[Word count: 384]
where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet
sinking feeling
spin me round again
and rub my eyes,
this can’t be happening
when busy streets amass with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy
hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first
oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life
hide and seek
trains and sewing machines (oh, you won’t catch me around here)
blood and tears (hearts)
they were here first
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it’s all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm that it’s just what we need
you decided this
whatcha say?
Mmmm what did she say?
ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no I don’t believe you
you don’t care a bit,
you don’t care a bit
(hide and seek)
ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
(hide and seek)
speak no feeling no unbelieving
you don’t care a bit,
you don’t care a (you don’t care a) bit
(hide and seek)
oh no, you don’t care a bit
oh no, you don’t care a bit
(hide and seek)
oh no, you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit—
This is something I found scribbled in my school notebook. I have no idea when or why I wrote this exactly. It’s one side of a telephone conversation, obviously. I’m so scared my subconscious is starting to take over my life; I don’t even realize what the hell I’ve been writing about lately.
